My niece's 4th bday party last weekend. Got all the cousins together for a snap. They are the most cutest bunch. No, I am not biased ;)
Tailor holding Myla(6 weeks)
Brynn(4) holding Camryn(4 months)
and Isaac(2).
Camryn...a sea of blue eyes! Beautiful.
Myla, the newest cousin. Cutie.
Brynn and Isaac having a good time playing. Too cute.
and last but not least, my baby.
MOTHERS
Real Mothers don't eat quiche; they don't have time to make it.
Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils are probably in the sandbox.
Real Mothers often have sticky floors, filthy ovens and happy kids.
Real Mothers know that dried play dough doesn't come out of carpets.
Real Mothers don't want to know what the vacuum just sucked up.
Real Mothers sometimes ask 'Why me?' and get their answer when a little
voice says, 'Because I love you best.'
Real Mothers know that a child's growth is not measured by height or years
or grade...It is marked by the progression of Mommy to Mom to Mother...
The Images of Mother
4 YEARS OF AGE - My Mommy can do anything!
8 YEARS OF AGE - My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!
12 YEARS OF AGE - My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.
14 YEARS OF AGE - Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either.
16 YEARS OF AGE - Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.
18 YEARS OF AGE - That old woman? She's way out of date!
25 YEARS OF AGE - Well, she might know a little bit about it!
35 YEARS OF AGE - Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion.
45 YEARS OF AGE - Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?
65 YEARS OF AGE - Wish I could talk it over with Mom.
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she
carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen
from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where
love resides. The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but true beauty
in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly
gives, the passion that she shows, and the beauty of a woman with passing
years only grows!
What more can a person seek? The nature of a child's pure unconditional love.
Tailor and her cousin 2004
Tailor and her new cousin 2008
Tailor and her cousins 2008
One week until T starts 3rd grade.
I don't remember much of my childhood, but thinking back I do remember 3rd grade.
I think it was because of my teacher. Mrs. Larson. Dang I remembered her name!
Anyhow, I remember spelling tests, with one specific word.....because . She would make us take that test over and over because everyone one spelled because wrong.
She read us Charlotte's Web. Her voice as sweet as the voice of Charlotte's in the movie.
She wore huge silver bangle bracelets that clanged together when she wrote on the chalk board. Oh and her chalk had a silver chalk holder that I thought was too cool. She was it. Because of her, I wanted to be a teacher.
I can still smell her. I have no idea the kind of perfume she wore, but I can smell it. Is that weird? I think so.
I hope T will find a memory of school as I have. Esp. when I don't remember much of my childhood.
Once again, up at 3 am walking the night.
Although is not my fault I was awake. Got a phone call from T's dad. Drunk as always.
He proceeded to tell me about his dr visit yesterday.
Bad news. Which he knew. He is killing himself with his drinking and not taking care of his body.
He will loose his feet eventually. Diabetes.
Why call me crying? I guess he always has been able to talk to me. But now I hurt for my daughter. He says his life is over anyhow. He will be 50 in 5 years. I called him selfish.
What about ur daughter? She is only 9. C'mon.
So of course I was not able to get back to sleep. Laid down around 5 and tossed and turned. Back up again. No use in just laying there.
Exhausted. Mentally and physically. When does it end?
once again 3 am.
Got off work early past couple of days.
Not much of anything but thinking been done.
Horrible nightmares haunt me
Not sure what they are about. Not sure I wanna know.
Life is what it is
so i hear
tired of the games people play
men in particular on that one
why is it so hard? wtf
Is is so hard to understand?
compassion, is it that difficult? F*ck yeah i suppose so
Is is so hard to be? Why can't one just do?
Respect? seen it around? doubt it
Love? damn bad word, should be a curse word, banished from the language
Action vs Words..DUH
Anyone ever hear of a soul? Anyone GOT one?
Do I have issues? DAMN straight I do
I am tired, so very tired of it all
Why do I bother?
Why do I question? ha
Be afraid, be very very afraid. Someone might care or *GASP* love you
Heart of gold turns to stone, closes in quickly.
Fast before it turns. No one will ever see it sparkle again.
why should they? Why be nice? Why give a shit?
Does anyone give a shit? probably not. This day I don't
It is what it is
I am just me, deal with it
My baby is home from her dad's. A month a long time.
She looks different.
Older.
But only a month?
her light brown hair streaked with blond highlights now
from swimming in the sun. beautiful she
golden brown skin, tan as tan can be
i missed her. her and me.
dang that all rythmed didn't mean it to
glad she is home. now back to the hard part of being a full time single mom.
means planning and being on target
no more popcorn for supper
or cereal and toast for supper
no more sitting up til late hours only to know I can sleep during the day
nope, back to life
life as I have known it for 9 years
wow 9 years.
half grown
half raised
will i know how to live in another 10 years?
empty nester as they say
will I have purpose then
ah i will worry about that bridge when I get to it
for now, my baby sleeps soundly with a smile on her face
sitting in the dark watching her rest is like no other feeling in the world
quiet
dark
peaceful
aware
feeling
awestruck
proud
emotion
love
unconditional
this lil person is of me
and that my friend is something no one can take from me
Just sayin...
WHEW, this is hard work :)
Went fishing last weekend and there was a kid's fishing tourney going on. T had fun catching these beauties
Been too long since I have posted. Life sometimes gets in the way I suppose.
T is almost out of school. She is now playing softball and really enjoys it. She'll be in the 3rd grade next year and it hard to believe!!
I am a new aunt again, my brother had his 3rd child last week. My other brother is expecting his first child in July. Babies all around this year!!! But none for me, one kid is enough!
I have been busy with work and my website which is doing well. Could be better, but it is very time consuming not only to make the jewelry but to run the website as well.
Went fishing yesterday and caught a small fish and a bad sunburn. T likes to fish and she caught the biggest fish yesterday!
Aside from working, looking after dad in the awful nursing home he is in, working on the website, and keeping up with T, I have not really been up to much. I guess doing all that IS enough lol.
One more addition to my family in the last two weeks, her name is Gabby. We adopted her from an animal shelter! She is the best :)
Seems to me that ones that lie will always be found out. Why lie in the first place? I don't get it.
Its been a long year for me. Last year at this time started a whole upside down spiral that I got caught up in. Unknowing to the lying party I had already started to figure out what was going on. Of course at the time, I was in denial and couldn't believe what I was uncovering. A web of lies and untruths, started to unravel. Boy was I in for a shock!! The pain I had felt before knowing any more truth was unbearable, what else could he had been hiding. I was in for a real treat. Hiding behind user names on the computer is not a fun find once found out. I found out about affairs, lies of the heart, lies about money, lies lies lies. Past 2-4 years ( I don't know how long it really went on) nothing but lies. He found out that the computer tells all. Short snippets of what email titles are, or messaging titles are can say a lot, even if you don't know the exact content of the messages. You know that persons lingo, you know how they speak and talk. Little pieces add up to big pieces and then busted.
What did I learn? Lots. Trust is something that is EARNED. Am I trusting today? Nope. Do I have good reason not to trust? Yep. Trust is EARNED not just given freely. The only thing that will earn my trust is truth. Plain out truth. Even ONE simple little white lie will not be good enough to be brushed off. I don't care if it is about money, where you were when, who you see, who you talk to, who you think about, one little lie will not EARN trust.
Truth....is very powerful. Think about it
Don't you just hate it when:
My new job is working with the elderly. A private duty nurse, to help in everyday needs for the elderly who don't need to go to a nursing home, but need help in their daily lives.
I love my job. I haven't said that in many many years. I really like my boss, she is really a neat person, and is not the stuffy type person that one can't get along with. She is personable, understanding and just a joy to be around!
I work with this one lady, who has traveled the world. She enjoys scrap booking, so she has a library of her adventures. How fun!
There are two sayings that I learned from her recently and I just adore them!
"To love a person, is to know the songs in their heart and sing it to them when they can not remember the songs"That is so powerful!! and SO true!! Another one was:
"To forgive is to set a prisoner free, only to find out the prisoner was you."
I LOVE this site. You can post books that you have and receive books you wish to read. All for the cost of shipping you book to someone who requests it. Go check it out, its FREE!! Sign up for free, post books for free, receive books for free, the only thing you pay for is postage to mail out your book. Can't beat FREE
OK who turned on the ice machine??????????????????????????
I am freezing!!!! I have no idea what the temp is outside, but yesterday morning when I went to work it was ZERO outside. ZERO. How can a temp. be ZERO??? Just plain ridiculous if you ask me.
Yeah I am up at 3 am. Well got up at 2 am and is now almost 4 am i guess. I have a bad cold, and my throat was sore and I couldn't breathe. So here I sit drinking coffee for 2 hours. I haven't gotten up in the middle of the night in a very very very long time. Gonna be a long day tomorrow, er today.
That is Tailor under the tree getting the presents at the back of the tree. LOL. My favorite pic of the whole day. Ahh to be a kid again.
She so enjoyed Christmas this year. She got alot of neat stuff which included a new computer and a Nintendo DS.
Happy New Year! I am glad 2007 is over. Out with the bad, in with the good.
2007 was a year that I want to forget. Or at least the first part of the year. It was the most heart wrenching, heart breaking, soul depleting, life upheaval year I have ever had in my entire life. Not only heart breaking for me but for my daughter as well. It is a good thing that kids are resilient! It is bad enough to try to heal your own heart but to heal a child's heart..it very difficult. I had no idea that one man could cause such pain and destruction in any one's life. Let alone 2 people's life.
Thank God for my brother. He was my life savor last year. If it were not for him (and ultimately his wife as well) I am not sure where I would be today. He came to my aid in most darkest hours. I had spent days in utter darkness, barely taking care of myself, let alone my daughter and my father, one night I finally broke down and called my brother. He was so worried about me, he wanted to fly down to Florida that night. But he devised a plan to take off work and come down to help me out. I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't be there for my daughter, when she was so distraught of what was happening. It took a week for him to plan to come down. I felt some relief in that week and managed every day life for my daughter. The night my brother showed up, I had all the pressure lifted off my shoulders. We sat up most of the night talking. Unknown to me, he had bigger plans for us. He talked me into coming to Illinois for awhile. He packed up dad, T, the dog and myself and he drove us all back to Illinois. A 23 hour trip. He arranged for dad to go to a nursing home, and T and I stayed at my brothers. His ultimate plan was to convince me to move back to Illinois to be near family. I agreed. A month later he once again made another trip to florida and packed up my house and moved it all to Illinois. I never again stepped foot in my dream home and state.
The healing had started and is still going on til this day. My daughter seems to have bounced back pretty well, which everyone told me that she would. A man, the only "father" figure in her life that she remembered (not her real father) had hurt her emotionally like she had never known. Shame on me for letting someone do this to my daughter. Never again.
I am not sure I will ever be gone of that hurt that I have. I know I will never forget what that man put us through, only for the fact that I will not let it happen again.
We have both moved forward the best way we know how. Meeting Joe has been good for us. T adores him so. He is good to her and treats her well, like a "father" figure is SUPPOSE to do.
For 2008 I hope that we will continue to heal and to move forward with positive influences and attitudes.
Happy New Year
Got this in an email, and liked it so thought I would post it here.
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