6:21 AM

So my life has been turned upside down this past week. Once again. This time has been a thousand times worse than any other time. Not really sure why, but have a good idea. It is tough to be the one left in the dust.

A time for healing for me now I suppose.

I am angry. I am hurt beyond belief. I feel like a fool for not seeing what was happening. Or seeing what was happening and being too sick to do anything about it. Depression sucks.

I am confused and overwhelmed.

I am way over my head in responsibilities. I guess I have been that way for a long time, just haven't had the strength or motivation to do anything about it.

I am devastated. I was going to marry this man. This man who lied, betrayed, cheated and left this relationship emotionally almost 2 years ago. Physically left a week ago. I can't believe that I could have been so blind.

People say to take one thing at a time. Easier said than done.

People say I am better off. Yes, I probably am. But how to get to that point in thinking and feeling?

People say I am strong and can make it. Not at that point yet. Don't know how to get there.

Get a job. HA! Last time I had to find a job it took me 4 months. And I was miserable working.

I have no family or friends here to help me in anyway.

I am lost.

I am drowning and have been drowning for a long time, now it is to the point that i can not breath.

How do I even BEGIN to heal?

This is what I am dealing with now.

3 Responses to "Healing"

  1. ChaCha Says:

    Kristy you can do this. I know its hard. But I think you me and Allie should start hooking to get some extra cash lmao (just joking) Did it make you laugh??

  2. Allie Says:

    Take one look at that precious girl you have and you keep going, like it or not!!!
    We are here, I know you don't know me from a hole in the ground, but you are not alone.....ever!!!
    (((((((hugs))))))))) to you, you will get through this and be stronger in the process....
    xoxo

  3. ChaCha Says:

    I am here for you too Kristy, always

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